I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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