Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
