Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
