He is an equal opportunity slut.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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