just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
