btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
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