The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
