I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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