I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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