we have pet lesbian snakes
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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