Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
