If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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