Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
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She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
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151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
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