Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
our cab driver is having phone sex.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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