WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
