My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
