Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tornado booty call.. dedication
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I want to fling myself into the sun
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
Randomize