What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
