she was so not down for the gang bang
I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
