I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
