; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
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