You're a womanizer and a bitch.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
