If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
