noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
