you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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