His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Randomize
