Texts From Last Night

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  (540): View more from Virginia

  you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.

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  (540): you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level. http://tfl.nu/ek4x
  Replies (2) Good night (1516) Bad night (370) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy

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  (217): So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy http://tfl.nu/9pzn
  Replies (16) Good night (854) Bad night (4410)
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  (914): View more from New York

  im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj

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  (914): im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj http://tfl.nu/kgi8
  Replies (22) Good night (5433) Bad night (1664) Order T-Shirt
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...

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  (217): I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting... http://tfl.nu/eihm
  Replies (11) Good night (2378) Bad night (716) Order T-Shirt
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.

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  (603): A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you. http://tfl.nu/2hjp
  Replies (4) Good night (2559) Bad night (512) Order T-Shirt
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  (315): View more from New York

  Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench

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  (315): Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench http://tfl.nu/9nh4
  Replies (20) Good night (5455) Bad night (1158)
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  (914): View more from New York

  We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.

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  (914): We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar. http://tfl.nu/5gv0
  Replies (13) Good night (3811) Bad night (557) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms

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  (+61): he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms http://tfl.nu/3nr0
  Replies (14) Good night (1623) Bad night (516) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  You have plans tonight?

  (1-330): View more from Ohio

  Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope

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  (330): You have plans tonight? (1-330): Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope http://tfl.nu/9w5b
  Replies (5) Good night (418) Bad night (793) Order T-Shirt
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.

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  (920): Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience. http://tfl.nu/3t0z
  Replies (0) Good night (1009) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!

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  (973): Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone! http://tfl.nu/i9ym
  Replies (4) Good night (1050) Bad night (384) Order T-Shirt
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.

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  (330): I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong. http://tfl.nu/hqmh
  Replies (3) Good night (1041) Bad night (273) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not

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  (910): He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not http://tfl.nu/zx60
  Replies (3) Good night (375) Bad night (202) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?

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  (516): Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep? http://tfl.nu/76br
  Replies (7) Good night (792) Bad night (189) Order T-Shirt
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning

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  (816): took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning http://tfl.nu/ad92
  Replies (0) Good night (281) Bad night (182) Order T-Shirt

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