Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(507): View more from Minnesota

The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.

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(507): The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything. http://tfl.nu/zuo5

Replies (41) Good night (2461) Bad night (544)
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(587): View more from Alberta

His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?

(780): View more from Alberta, CA

You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?

(587): View more from Alberta

She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.

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(587): His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl? (780): You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus? (587): She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass. http://tfl.nu/i4m5

Replies (68) Good night (2322) Bad night (4527)
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(240): View more from Maryland

Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"

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(240): Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug" http://tfl.nu/c6tu

Replies (22) Good night (5834) Bad night (1030)
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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.

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(832): Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank. http://tfl.nu/gxu8

Replies (10) Good night (5154) Bad night (1099)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3

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(403): Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3 http://tfl.nu/lt38

Replies (20) Good night (1809) Bad night (3678)
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(925): View more from California

Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'

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(925): Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots' http://tfl.nu/c9v2

Replies (4) Good night (2943) Bad night (726)
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(404): View more from Georgia

You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.

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(404): You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised. http://tfl.nu/0upx

Replies (2) Good night (2173) Bad night (1060)
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(706): View more from Georgia

Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note

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(706): Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note http://tfl.nu/2uyq

Replies (5) Good night (4254) Bad night (839)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?

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(603): She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep? http://tfl.nu/8ccn

Replies (11) Good night (1419) Bad night (647)
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(702): View more from Nevada

I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?

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(702): I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love? http://tfl.nu/7zb0

Replies (19) Good night (4356) Bad night (646)
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(802): View more from Vermont

I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest

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(802): I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest http://tfl.nu/d882

Replies (5) Good night (1094) Bad night (354)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.

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(910): I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy. http://tfl.nu/uqk4

Replies (2) Good night (969) Bad night (337)
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(310): View more from California

he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party

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(310): he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party http://tfl.nu/v00e

Replies (1) Good night (343) Bad night (1005)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.

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(678): Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine. http://tfl.nu/3h43

Replies (2) Good night (809) Bad night (232)
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(613): View more from Ontario

Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?

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(613): Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates? http://tfl.nu/iv63

Replies (3) Good night (562) Bad night (363)

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