hell yes lets make some ravioli
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
