She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
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