He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
