Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(706): View more from Georgia

If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.

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(910): View more from North Carolina

I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.

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(817): View more from Texas

My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.

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(973): View more from New Jersey

remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?

(973): View more from New Jersey

it happened again.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(443): View more from Maryland

Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.

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(734): View more from Michigan

Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.

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(409): View more from Texas

Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo

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(757): View more from Virginia

She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.

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