and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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