I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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