I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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