I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
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remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
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They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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