he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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