they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
