Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
