Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
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