well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize