I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
