Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
