Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
