So drunk, too bad you don't want this
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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