I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
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