oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
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