Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
