all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
