nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
