I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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