The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Randomize
