well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize