They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Everyone says I win the strip club
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
