I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
