how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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