i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
