looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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