It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
