I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
