my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
