she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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