i just wanna soil my oats bro
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Randomize
