My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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