The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
