i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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