im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
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