recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
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Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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