it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
