i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
