the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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