I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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