last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
