Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
