Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
of course. lets lasso hookers.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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