My nipple is on Facebook.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
