I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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