He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
