Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Randomize
