Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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