apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize